Live! At the Whiney-A-Go-Go!

August 9, 2006

Meta meds

Filed under: life — letslucky @ 8:13 am

You know the meds rollercoast I talked about earlier? I’m on it again. Whee, it’s a fun ride! Whee.

Depression meds often work great for a while, sometimes a few years, and then they just stop working. And then the patient gets to deal with being in the dark hole at the same time they’re tapering the old meds, getting through SSRI discontinuation syndrome (lots of doctors won’t acknowledge that this exists; they are wrong), dealing with the return of the med’s side effects, starting up a new med, wondering if it’s going to work at all, tweaking the dosage, and dealing with its side effects.


A few weeks ago I had to admit that my meds have started to falter. So my shrink and I decided to supplement the one I’m on with another that’s compatible, rather than stop this one and start a new one. Cool. I get the liver tests and blood pressure to make sure I’m OK to ramp up the crazymeds, fill the script, and start the rachety jerking chug up the coaster’s first hill.

I think the new one is too much.

Lemme see…. I think it’s been about 2 weeks since I’ve slept more than 30 minutes at a time. Lately I’m up at 4am or so most days. The tremor that was tolerable before has been intensified. Not quite to the extent that I have to worry about driving (a jerk of the wheel would be a bad thing on the freeway), but it’s getting kind of old to lie there while not sleeping, taking out little bets with myself about which body part is going to spasm spontaneously next.

I’ve made several social blunders and pissed off a number of people in the past few weeks, enough to decide that it’s a pattern of basically exercising bad judgment. That one actually is making it kind of scary to drive, since I can’t trust my decisions.

Speaking of poor judgment, perhaps I shouldn’t be pouring all this out into a public blog that anybody can read? (Hi Mom!)

I just realized that all those waking hours I wasn’t really getting anything done. I was on a dozen shopping sites. Luckily I’m a total cheapskate. That could have been bad. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to have dozens of boxes arriving on my doorstep in the next few weeks. On the other hand, my wallet is missing about $200 and I honestly have no idea what I spent it on.

Sheesh, why bother with all this behavior analysis to figure out my symptoms? I should just go xerox the Manic page from the DSM-IV and check off all the boxes.

And here’s the kicker: there’s another thing I need to put on the list for when I see my shrink about all this. I knew it a second ago but it’s gone now. Several times in the past week I’ve been unable to hold a thought for long enough to get it from brain to pen.

Oh yeah, that was it. I seem to have developed a weird sort of forgetfulness.




  1. You’re manic and on an SSRI? That’s not usually a good combination.

    Comment by Moto — August 12, 2006 @ 1:49 am

  2. Thanks for your concern. The combination that’s worrisome is if you’re BIPOLAR and on an SSRI. I am not bipolar. If nothing else, this episode has proven to me that mania is something I’ve never experienced before. Rather, I’m on an SSRI and I had too much of an additional activating drug, which I have discontinued. Thanks for thinking of me, but my shrink and I have this one under control.

    Comment by letslucky — August 12, 2006 @ 9:11 pm

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