Live! At the Whiney-A-Go-Go!

September 30, 2006

Frickin’ Meatsuit’s Gettin’ Me Down!

Filed under: life — letslucky @ 6:53 am

Laugh if you must, but I’m feeling ooooolllld.

Last week I did something terribly wrong, like inhale or something, and pulled a muscle in my back. Pulled muscle. No big deal. Ibuprofen and rest for a few days and I’ll be good as new!

But no. I’m still not able to bend down to pick stuff up off the floor, I walk like an old man, and “twist and shout” has taken on an entirely new meaning. Old.

Sometimes it feels like I’m trapped in a hundred-mumble pounds of rotting putrid flesh that I have to drag with me as I go through life. Maybe I’d rather be a brain in a jar. But then I couldn’t wear cute shoes.

Then again, while my back hurts this much I can’t wear most of my cute shoes anyway.
Plus a brain in a jar might have trouble doing some of the things I want to do before I die anyway, like sea kayaking or bungee jumping. Can you imagine a jarred brain skydiving? Ker-splat!

So instead I’ll just have to concentrate on the good stuff, like the dermatologist’s nurse who complained that my skin is too good for me to be in any of their clinical trials. Apparently I have good skin, now that I’ve found a way to (usually) stop breaking out like a teenager. Good skin! Thanks mom!

Meanwhile, here I remain. On my back, not moving.

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