Live! At the Whiney-A-Go-Go!

October 16, 2007

Where the heck have you been???

Filed under: life — Tags: — letslucky @ 2:47 am

I’ve been right here! Not writing!

In case anyone ever tells you that writer’s block isn’t real, they’re wrong. The words aren’t coming. Even when I’m writing technical docs, the words aren’t there, just the blinking accusatory cursor and the mantle of guilt for slipping a deadline.

But it’s getting better! Perhaps even if I can’t write about Things, I can write about the mundane daily-life things? Please?

Like how the upstairs neighbors have moved out and taken with them their toddler, their noisy toys, their loud phone (with audible caller ID), their drums, their electric guitars, and their endless arguments about how he loves his mother more than he loves his wife. Said argument coming from the mouth of the wife. Anyway, no more! The new neighbor seems very very VERY quiet. Then again, she hasn’t moved in yet. Time will tell.

May 9, 2007

prom

Filed under: life — letslucky @ 9:24 pm

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prom

prom,
originally uploaded by letslucky.

What the heck does “Prom” stand for anyway??

Filed under: life — letslucky @ 8:50 pm

The prom theme was something like “Love Throughout The Ages” or something. I can’t remember. Anyway, the idea was that historically themed promwear was encouraged (by the tirelessly-chipper sort who later become PR twinkies, anyway), so what I wanted was an authentic flapper dress.

I had a bazillion sources for such things, from my grandmother’s trousseau to the stock of the vintage stores where I worked. Nothing was right. The Friday before prom, I resigned myself to spending the weekend at the mall, being slowly deadened by taffetta outgassing.

And then Biff (I called him Biff, it’s not his real name) rolled up in his limo (it was a station wagon, but whatever) and jumped out with a fabulous Louis Vuitton overnight case (a paper grocery sack) full of a surprise.

With my grip of reality firmly in hand, I looked in the bag.

My god, it’s full of fringe.

Biff had managed to come up with <i>his</i> grandmother’s dress, which was an authentic flapper dress. Skintight, princess seamed satin above, silk fringe below, fully lined with some interior hardware bits that I later realized were anchor points for foundation garments.

It was an unbelievable find. And a great prom. And a boyfriend that made me a bad please-take-me-back tape, then a year later pierced his tongue and bought a motorcycle.

Honey, if you’d done that long beforehand, we might still be together.

Anyway, it was a good prom, a great prom photo, and a bitter memory because I had to be home by 11pm. Grrr.

May 6, 2007

Mending House

Filed under: life — letslucky @ 3:14 pm

In my own dream imagery, houses are a fairly conventional way of representing my own brain, or my life, my psyche, myself. Now read this dream that came just as I was having my periodic crisis of overscheduling and depletion of emotional resources.

In my dream, I have somehow become the owner of a house. It’s a gorgeous huge elaborate Victorian, full of gingerbreading and turrets and french-doored balconies and widow’s walks and wraparound porches and root cellars and outbuildings and all the details you could possibly imagine. And it’s been horribly horribly neglected. This house should be on some list of impressive historical buildings, except that it’s all broken down and nobody has paid attention to it in years.

ML is with me, and he and I start to investigate the house. It looks like the roof will hold, there aren’t too many infestations of rats and raccoons, and nobody is going to fall to her death through the floor. But oh boy is there a lot of work to do. A storm is coming, and the first thing to determine is whether there is a safe room or two in which to sit out the violence. Because the foundation is fundamentally solid, we will be safe during the storm.

There are a lot of repairs to do anyway, so I get to work on it after we’ve finished with the storm preparation. ML says that he knows a lot about electrical engineering, and together we can pull new cables and have the place rewired pretty quickly. But first I need to do a lot of structural work on replacing doors and repairing walls, and he can’t help with that at all. But he does know a friend who works at a lumberyard, and has already arranged to have a load of lumber delivered — it’s in the yard and ready for me to use.

We bring the lumber in, and I get to work. Since ML can’t help me do the actual repairs, he’s decided to fix me dinner for sustenance while I do the work myself. I bet he’s laid in a supply of blister treatments and foot soaks. So I go hammering and sawing away, smelling bacon and rosemary and good healthy things cooking in the kitchen.

During this time, neighbors keep coming over to borrow things. But I have no resources to give them! I’m normally very generous, but right now I have so much going on in my own life that I just can’t spare any of my resources for them. “Borrow a hammer?” No, sorry, I’m using my hammer right now and I really can’t give it up! “Hey, I could use that old screen door!” Sorry, but I’m in the process of hanging that screen door myself! I can’t give it to you because I need it myself! Normally I would anyway, but right now I really have to keep the flies out of my house so that I can think at all.

As I perform my repairs in the house, room by room, the house itself becomes more appealing. Not only am I finding fabulous building resources in every room (hey! look at this stash of antique Tiffany windows!”), but I also find fun things about the house itself. Secret passageways, hidden doorways, little bits of convenient built-in features that I couldn’t have designed better myself!

And the storm blows impotently outdoors while I settle into a gourmet dinner with ML, knowing that things aren’t great now, and he can’t fix things for me, but I’m absolutely capable of fixing them myself. And after that I can even go back to sharing resources with my friends too.

March 25, 2007

I’m a Socialist creature

Filed under: life — letslucky @ 6:58 pm

Political Quiz results

Political Quiz results,
originally uploaded by letslucky.

For various reasons I can’t link to the origin of this quiz (I’ll tell you by email if I know you…), but I’m amused to discover that I’m a socialist, apparently. I would never have said so myself!

February 12, 2007

Lookit me! I got thrown out of a club!

Filed under: life — letslucky @ 6:47 pm

This weekend I was at a show at the Grand. Wanted to see a band that had a great great album, She Wants Revenge. Was drinking a bit pre-show, was in good mood, was dressed and primped and ready to party.

And at some point during the preshow hubbub, security showed up and very kindly escorted me out of the building. I was with a friend and he was apparently not the problem… what they said to him is “she has to leave now.”

We went around the corner and sat on barstools in confusion. What the hell just happened? Did I look at somebody crosseyed? Did they mistake me for someone else? Did I accidentally throw some gang signal or something?

A little time passed, and we thought we’d try again. Now the bouncers were happy to see me back, said that I looked so much better, and let us in. WTF? We got back inside in time to see the headliners… but the sound system was so very very sucky that we decided to leave again anyway. I wondered if I should do something to get tossed out, but decided against it.

I’m baffled. Apparently drinking more means that you’re a better concert-goer!

February 9, 2007

Bad dreams

Filed under: life — letslucky @ 2:52 pm

I could be bounded in a nutshell, and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams. Hamlet IIii

I have a lot of nightmares but one particularly hideous one recently, of the
type that make me not want to go to sleep again.

Normally I love it when I dream about the pets I’ve had. It’s like they’re
visiting me again, and usually they show up in my dreams as their healthy
young selves, without all the aging and illnesses that I’d nursed them
through. Which was true in this dream too, but it was not a good dream anyway.

The dream was something about needing to cure some meat, and for some reason
we (me and John) needed to test the curing process, and the test meat had to
be our cats. There were two methods of curing the meat. One of them was to
lock the cat into a box that caused it to have hallucinations of the sort that
drive you completely insane and suicidal, but allow you to live. And remember
that this would be cat hallucinations — cats are basically on acid all the
time anyway, so it would be beyond torture. The other method is to put the cat
in a canopic jar with chemicals. John was favoring that method, but insisting
that we have to dismember the cat first, and put each organ into a different
jar. Eventually I convinced him that mutilation wasn’t necessary, and we could
just put the whole cat in one jar. So I smothered my beloved Cerebus, put him
in a jar, and poured evil chemicals all over him. Then later took him out (he
still looked like himself) to taste the result. And this wasn’t even for the
real product. He was just the test.

After waking up I went to lie down on the cold tile floor in the kitchen for
a while, to make sure I wouldn’t go back to sleep. No way do I ever want any
image in my head related to that dream ever ever never ever again.

February 5, 2007

… in the winter, when it drizzles

Filed under: life, travel — letslucky @ 10:10 am

Absolutely none of the stereotypes about Parisians has held true. Grumpy? Never smiling? Ridiculing your French while refusing to use the English you know they have? No way. All I had to do was walk into a bistro, sit at the bar, and use my very best accent to say the only French I remember: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?

Parisians are plenty friendly when you know how to talk to them!

It’s not even true that everything is always closed. It’s just that whatever you want… THAT is the thing that’ closed. Thus it took me three days to find a net cafe that was open, and a dang pricey one at that. So I’ll blather all about my trip when I get back tomorrow and onto a keyboard where I can touch type.

February 1, 2007

Generations have trod, have trod, have trod

Filed under: life, travel, writing — letslucky @ 9:52 am

So there I was, standing in Westminster Abbey, and noting that the tomb sculpture of Mary Queen of Scots has my nose. She is my ancestor. I have her to blame for this damn nose.

But nothing prepared me for the poet’s corner. I knew that I’d see a monument (but not the grave) of Shakespeare. I knew that writers and poets are filling up the space. I didn’t expect to be able to put my hand on the tomb of Chaucer. I didn’t expect to stand in front of Edmund Spenser’s grave. I didn’t expect to see the names of Wilde and Browning and Byron and Dickens.

These are the men who shaped the words that shaped ME. My heritage from them shows way more than any nose. I had to leave and find a nice quiet corner to weep in. And when I got done sniffling, whose grave was under my feet? Afra Behn.

I’m always uncomfortable in a very old abbey or cathedral or whatever, wearing down the names on the gravestones just by walking on them. But this time was different. I was walking on my heroes. More than that — I was wearing down the very same stones that my heroes walked on. So maybe it’s not so bad. Maybe my contribution to the patina is like theirs, and I can affect the future the way that they did.

Upon leaving, I did as I’ve done every time for the last six years that I find myself in a church. I lit a candle for another writer, Lin. This time it wasn’t to send her strength. This time it was in her memory.

Love can almost save your goddamn life. Love can almost save your goddamn life. Love can almost save your goddamn life.

London Calling

Filed under: life — letslucky @ 12:54 am

What does it say about me that I can get 15 minutes in a net cafe for one pound, but I can’t figure out how to make the dang phones work!

Anyway, la la la I’m in the tube station at Heathrow. MIND THE GAP. With no camera or computer or spouse to keep track of, just me and a sketchbook and hours of sitting in museums etc. I need the break.

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